After a year and a half of indecision and procrastination, I’ve decided to continue writing and posting on this blog. (Quietly. Hopefully, almost silently. Because now instead of documenting a trip, I’m just processing and expressing my own ordinary/~extraordinary~ life, which feels about 500% more vulnerable and terrifying.)

So, yes. Hello! Welcome, again. I’ve traded in Bologna for Brooklyn, and now instead of meandering through foreign cities and spontaneously bus-hopping between countries I’m working, for a brief stint, in publishing, and wondering how to best curate a life that accurately reflects my personality, beliefs, and desires. Like most people in their early twenties, I feel as if the floor is tilted and I’m just slipping around without a firm hold on anything. A lesson on leaning into chaos? All I know is it’s quite difficult to keep your balance when life pivots every few weeks. And I think right now is a time for remaining on tip-toe, as opposed to searching for solid footing.

Twenty three has proven to be a year full of migration and transition. One of the most difficult elements of living in a city that may sleep, but certainly never rests, has been finding spaces to feel and express unexpected, quiet grief. I didn’t expect 23 to be a year of watching childhood wilt off of those I love, and off of myself. Little gossamer fairy wings fluttering down, collecting on the ground like withered leaves. In moments of deep sensitivity and ache, thoughts arise like there isn’t a security blanket thick enough to stanch the gentle, persistent leaking of the heart. Where do you mourn the loss of expectations you hadn’t realized were idealistic? I think the answer is in nature, but whooooo knows.

On the flip side, life remains as beautifully vibrant and stunningly mystifying as ever. New York howls for attention incessantly, and as an inhabitant you simply serve as a loving, dutiful spectator. Taking the subway makes me feel as if I’m traversing through the underbelly of some indomitable titan, and it’s wonderful.

More thoughts to come later, but for the moment I just wanted to post a little Hello! I’m in New York (city of dancers, dreamers, and storytellers)! update.